Breaking News: Dash Detained

Dash?? Hell Yeah
Teya Silkman
Dash?? Hell Yeah

 In a stunning turn of events, Dash, Butte College’s beloved mascot, has found himself on the wrong side of the law after a series of events that unfolded at the Campus Center. The occurrence which was centered around a battle over who would get the last freshly baked cookie saw everyone’s favorite mascot getting incarcerated. Widely celebrated as the crown jewel of the Butte campus, the world-famous cookies are said to be irresistibly delicious, far surpassing those offered at the Chico State cafeteria.

The notorious Willie the Wildcat, tempted by tales of Butte’s superior cookies, attempted to steal the last remaining cookie from the Butte cafeteria. Witnesses, who fully understand the cookie craze, watched in amusement as Dash, the emblem of justice and Butte pride, confronted Willie. Dash, known for his superhuman speed and unmatched smarts, was equally drawn to the delicious cookie and had no plans of letting the savage wildcat steal Buttes’ culinary pride.

In the heat of the moment, campus security intervened, frustrating Dash’s valiant attempt to snatch the cookie. Willie, seizing the opportunity, made a swift escape, leaving Dash to face the consequences of his actions. 

Students, torn between amusement and shock, reflected on the culinary rivalry between Butte and Chico State cafeterias. “I can’t blame Willie for wanting those cookies. I would’ve done the same,” remarked one student. “They’re legendary. and Dash, our hero, took one for a team by trying to protect our school pride, it’s unbelievable that he got arrested while nothing is gonna happen to Willie,” said another student. 

Dash’s arrest has left the campus with a mixed sentiment. Serving as a reminder that even the most extraordinary heroes are not above the law, Dash is currently being held in an undisclosed Butte College closet. This is not the first time Dash has broken the law–previous charges include copyright infringement and bribing football refs.  

 The whereabouts of Willie the wildcat are still unknown and campus police are still conducting investigations on the whereabouts of the pretentious feline. Local chief of police has urged that anyone with information on the case speak up to help find the knave kitten.

As students and staff wait for Dash’s trial, one thing remains clear: Butte College’s cookies are indeed worth fighting over, even if it means getting arrested. May this tale of cookie competition serve as a reminder that the pursuit of legendary treats can lead to consequences.

Stay tuned for more updates as we follow Dash Adventures. In the meantime, enjoy your cookies, and remember, even mascots can have their day in court!

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About the Contributors
Nathan Azevedo Espindula
Nathan Azevedo Espindula, Editor and Chief
Who is Nathan Espindula? Click to find out
Teya Silkman
Teya Silkman, Staff Writer
Teya is a journalism major at Butte College, and this is her second semester writing for the Roadrunner. In her free time she coaches a lacrosse team and occasionally makes pasta. She hopes to eventually transfer to a university and pursue a journalism degree. Teya does not use AI in any form, for assistance or creation.
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