Have you ever wondered how different or how similar it is to balance school and life as a parent vs. someone who isn’t? You may be surprised at the similarities they have.
Miles Lujan, 18, is in her first year attending Butte College. When asked how she is currently balancing life and school as an 18-year-old, she responds with, “Making sure I devote a certain amount of hours to doing homework.” She is dedicated to overcoming all the homework she has by putting her mind to it—or, in other words, “locking in.”
Miles smiled when I asked the next question: What academic goals do you have for yourself? Is there anything you want to prove?
“Getting better grades than in high school, not mature enough to deal with personal issues and focus on school.” She’s proving to herself that she can do it, no more procrastinating or putting it to the side.
That is something similar to my academic goals, as I am also a first-time college student. However, I am a 24-year-old mom of two. Attending college has been a whirl of emotions. Miles and I share a couple of similar academic goals.
I also want to prove to myself that I can do it—getting out of my bubble and doing better than when I was in high school, as I didn’t care so much about my grades. Regretting how it has been over the years, how I should’ve done a better job. Now being here, I’m going to dedicate time to do my homework and get good grades.
Now it is difficult to manage time, such as balancing school and mom life. I, like many parents, have to either do homework at school, in the car, or even late at night when the kids are asleep, as they for some reason just know when you’re getting into your zone to get something done. Their little superpower minds know when to ask for things or just simply want to be with you.
I am still trying to figure out how to adjust to this new era, as my kids are as well. Being a stay-at-home mom to now attending school hasn’t been easy, and finding time around that has been difficult.
Miles, however, says since attending college she has been able to spend more time with her family and is grateful that she can, being that she recently lost a loved one due to cancer.
During high school she struggled more because teachers were strict on homework. She felt like she couldn’t talk to them when going through a difficult time. College has been a huge change, as Miles states, “teachers are more lenient and helpful.”
When going through something difficult, both of us share that we need to be more open with talking to someone about our emotions. We agreed that bottling up our emotions and putting them away only affected us later on when wanting to focus on school.
High school for me was difficult. Having a child at a young age made me only go into mom mode, and when it came to school and my child, I put school aside, wanting to be there for my baby. Now, I don’t regret being there for my child. I wish I would’ve also been on it with school.
There is always time for change and stepping out of your comfort zone. Before, I took six years to get into school. I put it aside to be there for my kids. It slowly made me lose myself. However, I spoke to a relative who also attended college as a young parent and got her degree.
She talked to me about how it would be difficult, challenging mom life and now student life. She encouraged me to not give up, that it would all be worth it in the end.
You can see there are differences and similarities attending school as someone who is a parent vs. someone who isn’t. Both people want to prove to themselves that they can do it, regardless of what happened in the past. Being aware now that dedicating some hours to study, do schoolwork, or even spend a little time on themselves, they can succeed—and so can you!
