It doesn’t take too many minutes on a platform such as TikTok or Instagram to be convinced that everyone has become an overnight expert in relationship telepathy.
From “if she hasn’t texted back in over a day, it means she’s not interested” to “if he hasn’t posted you on his story, it probably means he’s cheating,” these self-proclaimed social media dating gurus aren’t just oversimplifying relationships—they’re misleading people into assumptions that hinder the genuine communication needed for a healthy relationship.
These guessing games, which are pushed by these content creators, seem to reduce the complexity of human interactions to a series of checkbox assessments.
Our obsession with interpreting actions as signs oversimplify relationships to an unhealthy degree.
Online dating advice often paints a very black-and-white picture of relationship dynamics, ignoring the myriad shades of gray that make up real-life interactions.
It seems a lot of the time we’re so inclined to jump to conclusions that fit into the made-up scenarios in our heads that we sometimes forget that life can be unpredictable.
Sometimes a text is just a text, sometimes a day without texting just means the person was busy, and sometimes they really do just enjoy going out and dancing with friends.
Not everything has to be a red flag. Human emotions and behaviors don’t fit neatly into predictable patterns, and trying to see them that way will only lead to frustration.
The truth is, that people are complex, and their actions (or lack thereof) can’t always be neatly categorized.
What’s often missing in these snippets of dating advice found on social media is a call for honest communication.
Asking straightforward questions like “Are you interested in me?” or “What did you mean when you did this?” can clarify a lot more than endless speculation ever will.
Speculating is easy; confronting the truth, on the other hand, takes courage.
It takes courage because to confront the truth, you have to put yourself in a vulnerable position where you are allowing the other person to potentially hurt you, and that can be challenging. It’s not something anyone is naturally good at—it takes time and practice. But vulnerability is the only true path to love.
it’s time to ditch these oversimplified, one-size-fits-all interpretations of relationships. Instead, let’s foster a dating culture that values directness, genuine curiosity, and deep understanding.
Let’s ask the hard questions, and embrace the gritty answers—because this is the only way we can build real connections.
I’m no relationship expert; truthfully, this piece is more of a vent of ideas than a definitive guide. But the message is clear: real communication matters.
Real communication can transform a dynamic, making what might seem like a “you vs. them” scenario into an “us vs. the problem” once walls come down and vulnerability is welcomed.
I don’t tend to date much myself as I have this medical problem called “being horrible at talking to women.” However, when I do date, I often use metaphors as examples, and one I occasionally use to describe relationships is that of a boat.
From afar, owning a boat looks fun and perfect, but in reality, it requires constant care and attention. Avoiding communication is like neglecting the small tasks needed to keep the boat afloat.
Maintaining a healthy relationship requires effort from both partners, just as a boat would require extensive care from its owner.
And in today’s world, more than ever, the only true way to keep a boat afloat is if both people are willing to be vulnerable and communicate, even about the tough stuff.
The closing call is simple: don’t be afraid of having the hard conversations.
Cultivate a relationship where vulnerability is welcome, the hard moments are embraced, and the tough conversations are had.
Embrace the complexities of human relationships, and work together to keep the boat afloat.
In the end, the effort is worth it, for there aren’t too many things worth more than a relationship built on genuine understanding.
